我丢了我的阴户

　原著：Kellys翻译：huu63

　2010年11月13日首发于SIS

　　我知道这是一个奇怪的想法。我也不知道我是怎么想的。我没有什么宗教信仰的背景或其他什么任何相关的压力。我坚信我对于阴户的观念是把它变成一个不能性交的阴户，这个想法一经产生便如洪水一发不可收拾。我喜欢肛交，甚至远超过性爱所能给我带来的性高潮。甚至我还发现时时刻刻存在的淫欲让我充满活力，不仅如此，这股淫欲还能让我主动的去找寻伴侣的快感。我的终极梦想是永远都能沐浴在性的海洋中，从不间断，但我的阴户却永远的被封印和封闭。

　　我在当地一家体育馆做健美操指导员，金发碧眼，身材火辣，所以拥有充分的免费「性」资源。通常，我会选择一到两个男女在一起胡搞一通。我会在性交中尽可能的避免高潮，但它的发生却是不可避免的事情。每每想起我的梦想，我越发的觉得我必须要远离这些讨厌的高潮了。

　　发展到最后，我不得不做些什么来解决这个事情。我的阴唇上有几个垂直阴环，成对的排列在我阴唇的两侧，把我的阴蒂包围起来。他们想要想拜访我快乐的小萌芽是相当困难的，当然规矩是我不允许任何人为我口交。再加上我十分认真的避免高潮的来临，这就意味着在与伴侣的性生活中我的性高潮期已经很少了。事已至此，我很高兴。但是阴道性交仍然会时不时的使我爆发。而且不知从什么时候开，这种爆发开始非常普遍，逐渐的演变成难以置信的高潮。虽然当高潮来临时，我十分的兴奋，但是我的终极梦想始终敦促我不能再这样下去。

　　在一个工作室里，我问一个穿孔师认不认识能够做些额外的工作的人。我想把我的小阴唇剪去一部分后缝合在一起，来把阴户盖住。他认为这是可行的，而对他来说这算不得什么大活儿。于是我们开始原计划缝和我的阴户，但暂时留下大阴唇。刚开始时，这个过程确实是很痛苦，我甚至都开始退缩了。但随着麻药的作用，就不那么痛了，我开始兴奋起来。这实际上是一个很便捷的小手术，只需些局部麻醉药和一次性的手术器具即可完成。

　　嘿嘿，事后我除付钱以外，当然少不了的让他在我的屁股里快活了好一阵。其间我还让他把剩下的麻醉药注射在我的阴蒂上让其失去效用。在他在我屁眼里快速进出的时候，我拼命的揉搓我已经彻底麻木的阴蒂，仿佛在抚摸别人的阴户。一小时内，他竟然在我身上爆发了两次。哇！太有意思了！不管我怎么努力，我根本无法让自己高潮。疲劳和满足在我未被满足的身体上存在，却让我美美的睡了一觉。

　　这个结果我很满意。这个小小的手术后，小阴唇的愈合是非常快的。我已经拥有了一个被封闭起来的阴户，仅剩下一个小孔。我的第一个问题是排泄，那简直是一团糟。可是随着时间的推移，我已经慢慢的学会了如何在排尿后把它清理干净。什么也掩盖不了我的兴奋。现在我的阴户真的是不能插入了，再加上阴户上的环，就连口交也无法进行了。与人做爱时，我的阴户只能让他摸摸开个头，然后就只能插屁屁了。对于我来说这种不能阴道插入的性交，已经让我快高潮了。可是真正的性高潮却是不可能出现的。给我的性伴侣们解释起来也颇为容易，我告诉他们我仍然是处女，且有一层相当厚实的处女膜。至于阴户上的穿环，还有什么比这个更常见的么？在我自慰的时候，我还是能够将这些碍事的阴环取下来的，虽然多数时候，我并不这么做。现在的我自慰的更加频繁了。而我也朝着我的终极幻想，兴奋的前进着。尽管如此，我的高潮越来越少。我决定有意识的减少我的高潮，从每周一次减少到每月一次。直到整个夏天过去后，我决定下一次的高潮要在第二年的春天。谁需要冬季的高潮呢？

　　就这样过去了几年，我开始觉得这仍然是不够的。我很爱这充满淫欲的每一分钟和大多无法得到高潮的性生活，但是每年两次的高潮却是绝顶的愉快。它让我感到非常的释放和自由。但如果我能够连这仅有的两次高潮都失去呢？我已经开始探寻。我已经准备好了下一个阶段。

　　我回到了穿孔师那里，做了个特别的约会。我们打算干脆割去我阴蒂及所有连带组织，把大阴唇也剪掉大部分，然后一并缝合起来。这样，我的下身就只剩下一个流畅的线条——一个由原来我的阴唇被缝合后留下的伤口。在我和任何的性快感间筑起了一道永远不可逾越的铜墙铁壁。只留下一个小到不能让手指通过的小孔来流出尿液和经血。这样我将会失去我的阴户，这不就是我一直想要的吗？我们安排一个时间在他家里见面，然后我让他取下我所有的阴环。因为我再也不需要它们了……

　　就在我们约定日期的前一周，我在家里手淫了足足一个星期，释放了我所有的快感。在我就要终身失去所有性快感的前夕，我真的不确定这是否应该，但我放纵自己了一下，只此一次。我甚至用上了一切我能用的工具来自慰：振动棒、乳头夹，我的双手游走我的全身和我的阴蒂。我甚至嘲笑自己的淫荡，可我还是屈服在自己的淫威下。当然，这是我生命中最令人向往的高潮。当然我也知道，在我去赴约找他做这个手术后，这些能够给我带来快乐的器官就都不在了，而这些快感也将随之离我远去。穿孔师似乎都有些惊讶，在做这样的永久幽闭手术前，我甚至都不需要一次高潮。我兴奋的告诉他我宁愿永远的囚禁在这种欲求而不能的欲望里。

　　手术本身，我不想谈论太多。我没法看，我知道会流很多的血。我很厌恶流血。整个过程我没什么感觉，但当麻药的效力过去后，我开始感到很痛。幸亏他有个医生朋友给我开了一个神奇的止痛药，我服用后疼痛马上就缓解好多。接下来的两个星期简直是糟透了，我告诉我身边的每一个人，我放假去旅游了。可更糟糕的是，我必须要耐心的等待一切痊愈，所有的伤口已经愈合且没有任何被感染的机会后，才能有什么性事。这对我来说十分的难熬。药物在这个时候对我的帮助可是不小。不仅有镇痛作用，还有镇定作用，暂时的压下了我的性欲。当我痊愈的时候，原来的我已经消失的无影无踪——或者说，一个全新的我已经诞生。呵呵，一个意外的收获就是当我穿上三角紧身内裤后，再也不用担心走光问题了。原有的女性性器官已经完全割去，伤口已经愈合完毕几乎没有留下什么伤痕，仅留下了一个比小拇指尖还小的用来排泄的小孔。因为我漂亮且十分光滑的裤裆上已经再没有什么可走光的东西了。这对一位健身教练来说是十分重要的。

　　对于现在的我来说，性就是一种纯粹的挫折。以前，我的阴蒂至少还能收到些间接的刺激，但现在我阴户上的所有器官都一去不复返了。现在我唯一剩下的事情就是玩弄我的乳头了，但这只会让情况变得更糟糕。我所有的淫欲和绝望，哪里也排泄不出去了。我的最终幻想终于实现了。我喜欢这样的没有性快感，而只有不停高涨的淫欲。一些我的学生知道我的处境，便很乖巧的主动帮助刺激我已经什么都不剩的阴户。很多人都在纳闷为什么我那么的精力充沛，但我喜欢的事情我会做上很多次。有时，我会做一名私人教练，当然会给这些学生某些「福利」。我经常和我的这些特殊「客户」在他们漂亮的私宅里一起度过整个周末。在开始前，我们会聊天以加深彼此的了解。然后才开始我们正式的游戏。我相当喜欢屁股被一个男人干着的同时，身下压着他的妻子或女朋友。我甚至在整个过程当中要在乳头上放一个震动器来保持我的淫欲高涨。有时我甚至做一对夫妇的共同情人。最好的事莫过于群交，一群人中总有人在不断的高潮，但那个人永远不可能是我。总有一天，我会找到一对合适的人选，我宁愿和一对富裕的夫妇一起，周游世界，做一个永远的性感度假。只是一件事，我永远不会高潮。

　　我喜欢这种再也没有阴户的感觉。我的终极性幻想已经实现了，可以肯定的是，当初的我只是单纯的接受我所感觉到的快乐，殊不知它在内心还能够提供最强大也是永久的欲望。对我来说，这是失去阴户后的报酬。我也不知道我的终极梦想能如此的刺激。也许有一天，你们当中的某些人会发现怎么做才是对自己真的好。对我来说，此生别无他求。这就是天堂。

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　　附带英文原版，各位英文达人们看偶翻译的如何？不好，请尽情拍砖！

　How I Lost My Pussy By: kellys

　It's a strange idea, I know. I have no idea how I thought of it. I didn't come from a religiously repressed background or anything. I just found the idea of having my pussy rendered unfuckable to be a huge turn on. I like being fucked in the ass, and I'm content to enjoy sex mostly without having orgasms. The rush I get from staying horny keeps me energetic, and I find it exciting to just focus on my partner's pleasure. My ultimate fantasy has always been to have free sex, all the time, but to never be able to get off, my pussy all locked up and chaste.

　I'm an aerobics instructor at a local gym, and blonde and curvy at that, so the free sex part is pretty much there. I've often picked up guys and even a girl or two after class. I usually try not to have orgasms during sex, but inevitably, they happen, mostly when I think about my fantasy of not being able to have them anymore.

　Eventually, I just had to try something. I got a couple of vertical labia bars, fairly tightly coupled, right over my clit. They made access to my little pleasure bud quite difficult - and ruled out any chance of oral sex getting me off. I had to really work at it to get myself off, which meant orgasms for me during sex with a partner were really rare. I was pretty happy with this, but vaginal sex still was able to make me cum - and since I wasn't cumming very often, they were absolutely incredible orgasms. I loved that when it happened, but my fantasy propelled me to go further.

　I asked the piercer at the studio if he knew of anyone that was able to do "extra" work. My plan was to have my inner labia trimmed and stitched together to cover up my pussy. He thought it might be doable, and it turns out he did have a little business on the side, as well. We made plans to sew up my pussy, but to leave my outer labia alone, for now. Piercing that was painful enough the first time, and I wasn't looking forward to it again. As long as penetration was ruled out, I would be happy. It was actually a quick and easy procedure, he just used a topical anaestethic, and brand new disposable tools. I payed him in more ways than one. I made sure he fucked my ass, and we used the rest of the anaestethic to numb my clit. I played with myself desperately as he fucked me, twice in one hour. Wow, that was fun. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get myself off. Exhausted, and satisfied at being unsatisfied, I got a good sleep that night.

　This turned out pretty well. Healing time for the inner labia was really fast, and when they were done, I had a nicely sealed up pussy, with just a tiny hole. My first period was a mess, but I expected that, and with time, I've learned to clean up better. And I was so happy. My pussy really was unfuckable now, and my piercings made it impossible to perform oral on me. I could only give head,

　or with a guy, be fucked in the ass. And it was next to impossible for me to get enough stimulation to orgasm during either of those. Orgasms during sex now dropped to zero. Explaining everything to my partners so far was pretty easy, I just told them I was still a virgin and had a thick hymen, and the piercings, well, they are more common than you would think. I was still able to take them out for masturbation if I wanted to, although I usually just left them in. I was definitely masturbating more now, the further along I was in my fantasy, the more exciting everything about it became. Despite this, I was reaching climax less and less, by choice. I made a conscious decision to cut back my orgasms from about one a week to one per month. After summer was over that year, I decided to wait until the end of the following spring for my next orgasm. Who needs orgasms during the winter anyway?

　After doing this for a couple years, it still wasn't enough. I was loving every minute of my vibrant and mostly unsatiated sex life, but my twice yearly orgasms were so over the top pleasurable, they left me feeling very much released and free, as if I had given up all of that sexual tension I was trying to build. I was ready to take the next step.

　I went back to the piercer and made a special appointment. We planned on removing my clitoris and everything underneath, trimming the inside of my outer labia, then suturing that together. I would be left with just a nice smooth line, where my labia would heal together, creating an unstoppable barrier to both penetration and pleasure. I would have a tiny hole to expel urine and menstrual flow, small enough that not even a finger could get inside. I was going to lose my pussy, as I had always wanted to. We scheduled a time to meet at his home, and I had him remove the barbells over my clit. I wasn't going to be needing them anymore.

　I did take time the week before to have some all out masturbation sessions. I wasn't sure if I should be having lots of orgasms, or none at all, so I allowed myself just one, a couple days before my appointment. I used everything I had to stimulate myself, multiple vibrators, nipple stimulation, and my hands all over my body and my clit. I teased myself to the brink for hours before I finally gave in. Of course, it was the best orgasm of my life. But I knew afterwards, the only thing that would bring me more pleasure was to not have that again. I had one last play session, at my appointment, right before we did it. The piercer seemed surprised that I didn't want to finish with an orgasm, but I'm glad I decided to stay horny instead.

　The operation itself, I don't much talk about. I couldn't watch, and I know there was a lot of blood. I'm rather squeamish about such things. I didn't feel much at first, but after the anaestethic wore off, I hurt quite a bit. Fortunately, he had a doctor friend that was able to get me a prescription painkiller, and I was loaded up with valium right after. The next two weeks were rather awful, and I told everyone at work I was on vacation. The worst part, though, was no sex - I had to wait for everything heal properly so nothing would tear and get infected. The drugs helped quite a bit with this. When I did recover, I was my old self again in no time - or perhaps, more accurately, my new self. A fringe benefit was now I never need to worry about getting a "female wedgie." My nice smooth crotch doesn't have anything to get caught, which is nice if you are a fitness instructor.

　Sex is pure frustration for me now. I was getting a lot of indirect stimulation from my clit before, and now all of that is gone. The only thing I have now is playing with my nipples, and that just makes it worse, getting me all horny and desperate with nowhere to go. My fantasies have finally been completed. I love not having any sexual pleasure, just the pleasure of being very well sexed. Some of my students know about my predicament, and are pretty regular in helping me work my tensions out on them. Others wonder where all of my energy comes from. But my favorite thing to do is couples. I work as a personal trainer too, with certain added benefits. I often take long weekends with my special clients, at nice private lodges. We start off with a workout session, then we all get massages together. Then the games begin. I really love to be fucked in the ass by a man while I go down on his wife or girlfriend. I've even got a set of vibrating nipple clips to make sure I am as horny and frustrated as possible through the whole thing. Sometimes I even do female couples or a pair at a time. The really nice thing about group sex is there is always someone to have another orgasm, just not me. Someday, when I find the right match, I'd like to move in with one of my wealthier couples, so I can travel the world with them, on a permanent sex vacation. Just one where I'm not cumming.

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